Hi everyone, I’m new here and feeling very scared. I’m 44 now but know a thing or 2 about losing people to cancer as I lost my nanna (my mums mum) and my mum to cancer 3 months apart from each other when I was only 19. As an only child it was hard to take and felt I’d lost my whole world. Fast forward to being 44 and I’ve just lost my dad to heart failure 10 weeks ago which has been hard, but the hardest thing is that my husband has just been diagnosed with a large mass on his pancreas 3 days ago. He’s been in pain for 3 months now and lost lots of weight with night sweats. Everytime we went to the GP or went to A and E they gave him no pain relief and said they suspected a stomach ulcer or gastritis. Anyway eventually he got a CT scan with the consultant gastroenterologist. We got called back in pretty quickly to be told about the mass in his pancreas. The doctor pretty much said it was cancer without saying it. He just kept saying he was very worried andthat he suspected it was very serious. Now we are in limbo waiting to hear from the pancreas management team to understand exactly what we are dealing with. But I’m scared it’s all too late. He’s 9.5 stone with severe pain and no appetite. I feel he’s wasting away in front of me already and I don’t know what to do. We only got married 8 months ago and thought this year would be our year to travel, but our whole world has come crashing down around us. The prognosis for this cancer is terrible and I’m so scared I Wii not have him for much longer. I just don’t know how to get him to eat. Even the high protein shakes are hard for him to get down.
Hi Jackles and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis and challenges your family has had.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated……
…… support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
