My husband was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which has spread to his lymph nodes, liver and lungs. He is on a support care regime only. They can’t give a time scale but a few months at most is likely. His is in the palliative care system.
He is at home, and he is deeply distressed. He is short of breath, he has nausea, severe constipation, is now eating almost nothing, and his mobility reduces every day. He does not have significant pain, but is in tears several times a day. The doctor is changing his drugs for nausea , but that seems to be about all that can be done. He cannot concentrate so cannot do any of the things he enjoyed in the past. He struggles in and out of bed to go to the toilet and have a shower, but soon he won’t be able to do that for himself. He can come downstairs to watch TV but gets little pleasure from that now.
I can look after basic physical needs but can do nothing to help his mental state. He wishes it was all over. Is there anything that can be done?
Hi epzcaw and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
