Hello I am new to this forum and I am here because my husband has primary sigmoid cancer with liver metastasis. The signs were first found in his liver after I took him to a doctor in my home country. He had been complaining about abdominal pain and bloating in his abdomen for years to his gp. All he would ever get were laxatives. No investigation. He also ignored his health problems for a long time, seem very unaware of the symptoms happening.
My old doctor in my home country, USA ordered an abdominal ultrasound where it was found his liver was enlarged. My mother then persisted (on our behalf) for the doctor to do more tests, while we were in USA. So my husband had an MRI of his liver and it was found he has some abnormal spots and lesions.
We got back to UK a month later and my husband waited another 2 months, and he was having dizziness now, and very cold hands. We eventually took everything to the gp and it took another 2 months for my husband to be seen by a hepatology doctor this past February. He was the first doctor to say my husband had cancerous tumors in his liver, but seemed to suggest it can be treated. He ordered a CT scan of his chest, abdomen, and pelvis too.
My husband had the CT scan in a couple more weeks and we got a call the next day saying he has bowel cancer. We saw a surgeon in March 2024, who said the bowel cancer was a tumor which would block his bowel. She wanted to do surgery to remove the tumor in his bowel soon.
My husband had the tumor removed about a month ago, and has had a lot of difficulty with recovering. He can hardly handle most foods, suffers from a lot of abdominal pain after everything he eats, has the sensation of needing to go to the toilet all the time now, even a short conversation causes this urgency. His hands are still cold as ice, he still has dizzy spells but refuses to want me to call any of the doctors. I want to help and support my husband but I also want to respect his wishes for privacy and decisions for what us happening. I don't know what to do. Everything feels so uncertain for me now.
I haven't been living in the UK for very long so I haven't made a lot of support, as I looked to my husband as my main emotional support system which I have realized isn't the best thing to do. I am very scared to lose my husband. So much has been very difficult for us to be able to be together.
Today he will see a colorectal oncologist and I am guessing they will talk about his chemotherapy next but I am not sure what to expect to hear. I am scared for my husband.
Hi Nature14 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated……
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
…… support groups. These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
Pleased to be able to help.
