My story of losing my mum.

Hi all, 

I'm new here and have spent a few weeks reading posts and stories and trying to pluck up the courage to speak out of my experience. 

My mum died in January of this year. She received a colon cancer diagnosis on December 18th and was gone in 2 weeks. I had no idea it was as bad as it was, the signs were there but I didn't have the knowledge to spot them and act on them by myself, we are a large family and everyone also had an opinion so that didn't help either. I have kicked myself most days wondering if I could have done more, she was extremely tired all of the time, lost her appetite and had lost her mojo  We were trying to figure it out but had hoped it would be a serious inflammation of the stomach or something that with work she could have gotten through. The NHS were not good either, messed her around with appointments and made her wait 3 weeks for a colonoscopy.

In short the whole experience was the worst thing ever, we were given hope when she went in that they could do something but a few days before she passed they said there was nothing. And so all we ended up doing was slowly watching our amazing mum slip away all whilst being thrown from hospital, to house, to hospice. The cancer had spread to her stomach and liver and her body shut down because they gave up on trying to treat her. I can't imagine what she went through and I have been broken since December. She was the greatest person I have ever known. 

I don't have much to offer other than to say don't lose hope. Tell your loved ones you love them every day. Know that if you're going through anything like what my mum did you are also so loved. And don't be afraid of death, I feel my mum's spirit is still with me all the time and one day we will meet again.