I'm having problems coping.Sick Father pushing me away, mother being distant and cold.
On Friday I received a call from my mother informing me that out of the blue my father has what she thinks to be acute myeloid leukemia. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I live in California by myself and has been working in the tech industry I've been unemployed for the last six months I come from Northern Ireland and I have struggled with mental health issues when I lived there and dysfunctional call dish relationship with my parents
My father know it's in I hematology word and refusing treatment along with visitors with the exception of my mother. My parents our still live together and I have never been emotionally expressive or particularly loving. It was felt like a practical and colts relationship I have with my mother no father porch only ever talk to me in silly things bike jokes about football or old Navy bottles. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row so I can jump on a plane to go home.
My mother's telling me not to bother they're not telling my only other family member - my aunt, my father sister. I'm really struggling, it's always be challenging visiting my parents their house is filthy, mice, dog urine etc.
Feel so alone most of my support at work yes in California hopping on a plane arriving full of Jetlag at dealing with depression I'm not even sure where to start? I find it hard to even talk to my mother she won't even see how she's feeling when I reacted with tears when we talked last she referred to my father and his reaction as being a bit like an animal what crawling into a cave to die.
I have so many questions from my father just in regards to his life a better understanding my family. Hey Siri will refusing to see me or B2 aware that this interest earning for interaction would make him a comfortable we don't have her interacted on a surface level.
Hi IsolatedSon and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis abd the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our….
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
….. support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
It’s a pleasure to help out….. I have lived with and been treated for a very rare and incurable type of Lymphoma fir over 24 years so understand in part the journey.
We do have a dedicated Acute myeloid leukaemia Group but as your dad is refusing treatment you will get better support in the…..
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
….. support groups.
Always around to help out.
