My Dad has had cancer for just over 6 years now and he has really deteriorated over the last few weeks. I am very fearful that we won't have him for much longer. My children are both at secondary school and they don't know he has cancer. He needed heart surgery a couple of years ago and has a bad back so we have just been telling them it's to do with that. My eldest in particular is going to be devistated. My question is, how on earth do I tell them? I'm struggling to even think about him without crying so I've tried to stick my head in the sand. We are getting to the point that I can't do that any more. Over the last few weeks he has lost over 2 stone and he now looks poorly and has no energy. What should I do?
Hi verysaddaughter and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer journey like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot (I have an incurable cancer so my prospective is very different)
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad, your family and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our…….
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
We have info pages about Talking to Family & Friends about Cancer and Talking to Children and Teenagers about Cancer
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
