Hi everyone I'm Lorraine and my father went from suspected pneumonia to terminal lung and brain cancer in the space of three weeks. My dad has been in denial despite being told he is in palliative care until a letter arrived from his consultant and there in black and white was the news it is in his entire body. It feels like a nightmare my dad chose a dnr which I totally respect I went to collect it and they forgot to give me the box as apparently it goes in the fridge medication arrived, more than his usual meds and I was told to refrigerate them as they are for end of life' whilst ckearly terminally ill my dad is alive and eating today and I feel like everything has been piled on as if this is his last day and it's left me broken as I feel they are not telling me something and the panic inside me is all consuming in one hand he has chemo appointments to June and in the next I have medicine ready for his end and for the first time he is scared and I can't make anything better for him other than be there for him I'm sorry this is so bleak I just feel broken and lost inside thank you for allowing me to share x
Hi Lorraine and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your dad has been diagnosed with an incurable cancer and it's not surprising that you're feeling as you do.
As the online community is divided into different support forums I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer forum where you can discuss your emotions as well as practical issues about palliative care and end of life.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You said that "I feel they are not telling me something" but doctors these days will answer any questions you ask and will not hide things from patients. If your dad gives permission to speak to his consultant on his behalf then you could arrange to meet the consultant to ask your questions.
It would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
