Hello, a friend of mine has jusu found out that she has stomach cancer and the prognosis is not good, they have said 12 months. I cannot get my head around this, and if I feel like this, how must she be feeling? She is 60 with 2 teenagers and a supportive partner. She came over yesterday and she just wanted to talk and cry, and I just hugged her whilst she said how she didn't want to cry in front of her family, she wants to be strong for them. She has a very good support network but she said that she is fed up of people saying that she can beat this, that so many survive from cancer, she has not heard of anyone that has survived it and she is scared that the will not live further than 6 months. I am not sure what stage she is but she starts chemo in 2 weeks and will have sessions every 3 weeks. From reading some comments in the forum, I think she may be having palliative chemo. She says that she does not want to see a counselor as she does not want to waste time talking to someone as she wants to spend what time she has with her family and friends. I have told her that my door is always open (I live next door!) and it is a safe place for her to come and off load, but I am not a specialist - so I am looking for suggestions of how I can help her, support her through this terrible ordeal? She has tasked me with finding someone who has come through this, to give her hope. I also know that I will have to work on my resilience, I am divorced, live on my own and my boys are grown up - they are lovely but are boys and so don't get it!! I have joined this community forum to get some help on how I can support her, give her what she needs, practical advice. I lost both my parents in 2021 and this has brought up some of that grief and heartache, but I don't want that to stop me fropm doing what I can for her and her family.
Hi Nomad and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your friends diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your friend you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
