Liver cancer

Hi Sarah Jayne24 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad, my sincere condolences.

My mum passed away a few years back. She was still in her own home doing everything herself with no help coming in……. We had been talking in the phone then over a period of 24hrs she deteriorated and passed away in hospital….. when the body gives up it can do this rather quickly.

Getting support from other who have navigated this journey can help a lot so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated……

 Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group.

…… support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who are still walking this journey, you can ask questions and get support from others who understand.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Link” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful as it can help you unpack the emotions so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

Hi thank you so much for your reply means a lot I’ll have a look at the support groups you have mentioned. 
Sarah Jayne. 

We are going through this with my uncle. He has advanced liver cancer not able to have treatment. The tumour is the size of two thirds of his liver and that was about 6 weeks ago. They have given a prognosis of 3 months but said it is more likely 6-7 weeks. He is also tired and itching but he is very sleepy. He’s also getting up through the night wanting ice cream all the time. I wonder if this is to do with it easing pain inside. 

For the last week or so he hasn’t deteriorated much more and he’s stable. Still unsteady on his feet. Still sleeping and lack of energy and needs help going to the bathroom. We are using adult pull ups as he struggles to get to the bathroom on time. Because he is stable I’m not sure what the next sign is to look out for. I’m worried about sudden deterioration but it seems like he’s had an improvement so I’m not sure this is the calm before the storm. I just don’t know if things will change so suddenly. He’s still eating little bits as well so that hasn’t changed. Did you find a sudden change with your dad ? Like at the moment we’re thinking have they got it wrong with prognosis because he’s very weak but it doesn’t seem to be getting aggressively worse. Or could I be wrong? 

Hi Zara

Everything you have said above is exactly how my dad was from wearing the pull up adult nappy’s to eating and drinking normally, the only signs my dad showed that he was ill is that he slept a lot itchy skin and was unsteady on his feet. There was no sudden change, the night before i was sat with him talking and watching a film and eating ice cream,I went down to his house the next morning to go see him like I did every day and it was no different from any other day he was in bed fast asleep, I tired to wake him to let him know I was there and he just seemed in more of a deep sleep this time I couldn’t get him to react to me like he normally did so I rung the district nurse, I could tell by her reaction that he was dying but she didn’t say, from her coming out at about 10am giving him medication to help him settle and pain relief he passed away at 4pm in the afternoon, it was just so quick no signs that it was going to be so soon, this is what I’m finding most difficult to understand. 
I thought there would off been a few weeks in a hospice or hospital or something, but I suppose in a way my dad passed at home which he wanted and it was really peaceful. I hope this helps you. Sending hugs xx

Hi Jayne 

Thank you so much for that information. I suppose everyone is different and it may be the same for us. It does make me panic a little that he’s ok and if we will face the same situation as you have been in. For me the hardest thing would be to see a slow deterioration and not be able to handle seeing him over a period of time suffering. Please take peace in that you didn’t have to see weeks of such a drastic change. It would have been much more difficult for you to be able to see a slow deterioration. He is at peace free from any pain. I know it’s a massive loss for you but he is no longer in any pain. Thinking of our situation one thing I do think about is I just don’t want him to have such prolonged pain. It’s unbearable as a family to watch. I would want him to slip away quietly.  You father must have have had great courage and resilience to be doing so well right until the end. You should be proud of his strength and his fight. 

I have read so many threads and I’ve struggled to find situations where people have just suddenly passed away although nurses have told us it is a possibility it can happen. You can have a good high and a massive dip. Just stay strong. The stress you have had to deal with worrying about your father every single day you have struggled to accept what has happened but remember he is at peace. We are still on that journey. He was diagnosed only 4 weeks ago and the changes have been overwhelming. We’re also looking into hospice care but there is a waiting list so until then we just hope we can keep him going for now

xx