Hello,
My mum 59 was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in December which we later found out has spread to her liver and lymph nodes and today after 2 stents for jaundice yesterday she had a scan which shows its grown even more so now she's on palliative care only.
I can't stop thinking about all the delays there have been along the way and no treatment really...so now she's too ill for chemo etc.
I know ultimately it wouldn't have given her much longer but if they'd have acted sooner she'd at least have been able to come home...
I also can't stop feeling guilty about things, like if I'm happy for any reason I feel guilty after. I feel guilty about wanting her to just go suddenly soon so we don't have to watch her suffer.
I'm worried about money as i want to be with my mum but can't afford time off all the time.
I can't stop thinking about my dad being alone which is probably the worst part. Like you kind of know your parents are going to pass but not so young. I can't imagine what it'd be like without my partner.
Also is it bad only a few people know. Work boss's know and 3 friends. But I just want things to be normal so I can try and function.
Sorry a lot to blab on about.
Hi dogzandmogz and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum abd indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
and
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
