So, last week we found out that my Mum has a 3cm lesion on her pelvis which is likely to be a secondary from breast cancer she had in 2020. It was only picked up in a random,routine scan for something unrelated and I’m terrified of losing her.
on top of that we found out yesterday that my Fiancé has a very aggressive form of Bile Tree Cancer which, as yet, we don’t know if they can even operate on due to size and some other nodes being infected. We were due to be married in July and have had to cancel all that and look for a much early date because of they can’t operate they’ve said no more than 6 months.
i feel like my world has fallen apart in the space of just a few days and feel so helpless and useless because all I can do is cry and nothing stops it. I know I need to be strong for both of them but cannot control my emotions at all.
How do I begin to process that I’m probably going to lose my soul mate (who I’ve known for 28 years but only got together in 2021) and how do I be strong and help him when I feel like my heart has broken into a million pieces. My amazing Mum is offering all her help and support but with her bone cancer too I don’t want to put on her. I really don’t know what to do/feel/think or say
Hi YorkshireGirl04 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am ever sorry to hear about both your mum’s and fiancés diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time……. but two family members at the same time is so difficult but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum, fiancé and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
and
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
…… support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
