Good afternoon.
My wife is about to start the first round (of 6) 3 weekly rounds of chemotherapy for two small areas (is that the right word?) of breast cancer that were identified during routine screening in our area. Apparently, 40% of people do not take up the offer of appointments - which I struggle with understanding, even though fear and denial will be some of the reasons - but my wife happily did.
Having gone though ultrasound, MRI, CT, blood tests and biopsies, the excellent NHS and MacMillan support staff have said that the path to treating her is well traveled and happily likely to be completely successful. However, we are now at the point where the journey of treatment (for her) and support (for her - and for me to help her) begins.
For anyone who has still to go through some of these steps, I would just say ;be strong' - I believe that there is support even where you least expected it. Given the chance of a positive outcome and many years with someone who is so special to you as my wife is, no other course of action than medical testing, diagnoses, so that the best treatment/options can be identified early was always going to feel the right way to me - I am ready for scary and in anticipation of many happy moments too.
I would say that knowing how things stand - however they are - is far far better than not knowing at all and her support team have gone though all the steps and provided so much information, it makes you feel so grateful for their expertise and kindness.
We have accepted what is likely to happen first - tiredness, hair loss etc in as positive way as we can. However, I do feel so sad that in order for a good result, it is necessary for her to go through so much that might be hurtful, uncomfortable or risky makes me so sad at time.
I hope I don't have emotional 'baggage' that makes me feel that I need to be the strong/supportive one and I know that I need to look after my own welfare too.
If I am not looking after me, how can I hope to look after my wife to the degree that I would like to.
I was not in a relationship - though I did have family support - when I had a menigioma successfully removed almost 25 years ago.
Now - having been together for many years and married for just over two - I naturally want things to go well and to travel this new journey/adventure together to a happy end point.
I welcome any advice and support from those who are, will or have made similar journeys. Our lives are busy and about to get disrupted in the year to come and I will post/respond when I can. If there is a particular forum on this site that it is more appropriate for me to join, I am more that happy to do that.
I am ready to make the journey with your help and hope that I can reciprocate and help you on your own journey too - hopefully we can inspire one another.
A
Hi Aenathras and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I have an idea how she'll be feeling at the prospect of treatment as I myself went through this two years ago.
The online community is divided into different support forums so can I recommend that you join the breast cancer forum, where you can ask questions and share experiences around treatment, etc and also the carers only forum where you'll connect directly with others who are supporting a loved one living with cancer.
To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your wife's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
