I’m new here and looking for some support and guidance. My mum is 91 and has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She’s become very dependent on me and my support since my father passed away.
The situation is moving quickly and she is getting weaker and more tired every time I visit which is most days. I’m finding it hard to cope myself and just feel overwhelmed by everything. I’m trying to stay strong for her at the same time as dealing with the anticipatory grief that I’m feeling myself. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, maybe just some suggestions with how others have coped with this situation. We will have the palliative care team on board soon which hopefully will help with some of the practical care.
Hi AnneC and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum..
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum abd yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
and
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
…… support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
