Lost my partner.

Hi Jenks. I am so sorry to hear about your partner. I lost my husband 5 months ago (he was 44) and we had been married 20 years. The first few months are incredibly difficult and you are so early in your grief, please be kind to yourself. There are no right or wrong ways to grieve and you will find your way through the incredibly difficult emotions that follow. I have found the intensity has lessened but it does take time. Take care. 

Hello Jenks  I am so sorry to read  about your partner, it's a stressful and challenging time. May I make a few suggestions to help your situation:

* We have a  group for bereaved spouses and partners, you could join this group - they are very supportive:

   Bereaved spouses and partners forum  

To join this forum, just click on the link I have provided and once the page opens up, click on "join" at the bottom of the page. you can then introduce yourself with the +new and either copy and paste your post or repost it.

*  "At a Loss" is a website directory for all bereavement services in the UK - www.ataloss.org.uuk

*  Cruse Bereavement Care is a national charity to help people in your circumstances - info@cruse.org.uk (or if you are in Scotland it's info@crusescotland.org.uk ) . you can find them on the web at www.cruse.org.uk

* There's also our  help line on  0808 808 00 00 (8am  t8pm 7 days a week)  They will be able to point you in the  right direction for some extra support..

I do hope the above suggestions are of use.  You are not alone in your situation and plenty of help is available.

If I can do anything else for  you please don't hesitate to contact me.

Kind Regards - Brian.

I just want to say thank you for your response Brian. I will certainly look into these options. I know she wouldn't want me to struggle. I just need to learn how to ask for help. 

Kind regards, Jenks.

Hi Joanne. Thank you for getting back to me. I'm also sorry for your lose too! I find it hard to open up to my friends and family as I don't feel like they know how I feel. One day I'll feel fine and others really hit me hard. Sometimes I really don't know how to react when I'm on a low. I've been trying to keep myself occupied but it feel like this is only masking up the issue. How did you cope in the early stages? I just feel lost. 

Hello Jenks  - It's no problem - it's a journey we have all undertaken at some point - there are no set rules and we all react with different emotions. You are right though - the hard part is asking for help - but you have taken the first step by posting here so you are on the right path - keep going - you are doing great.

Best wishes -  Brian.

The early days are just horrendous. To be honest, I went with how I felt. I cried, alot! I would look at relentless photos of him, videos and just cry and wail. It hurt physically, I was in so much pain. Whatever you need to do get through the days is ok. Move, not move, talk, not talk. Like I said before there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. It's a pain I've never experienced before. And I felt too like I couldn't talk to friends or family. But I did reach out to cancer online groups and people who are widowed which has helped me. There is a charity called WAY (widowed and young), they are very supportive and can connect you with other people who have lost partners. Time has helped to process what happened although it still hurts and the waves of grief are really difficult. You will be ok, keep reaching out and know that support is out there. You can message me anytime, you really are not alone x