Cancer and agitation and anger

Rog20 8 months ago

2 replies
38 subscribers
307 views

Hi I'm new to the group, I am currently helping to care for my dad who has colorectal cancer .He had an operation in October to take away some of the cancer and had an ileostomy bag fitted .Unfortunately he had an infection in his drain site from the operation he was under the care of OPAT who have given him regular antibiotics both IV and oral .Unfortunately the access he had seems to be returning. To say my dad has been a reluctant patient is an understatement. He was initially to week for chemotherapy but was offered adjuvant chemotherapy recently but refused it .He has also said he doesn't want any more treatment full stop .Whilst I understand this in the last week he has become very combative ,angry and agitated which isn't really like although he's exceptionally stubborn. My question is is this normal behaviour for someone in his situation?The surgeon gave a timeline of a year at best .My das is 78 years old.

eddiel 8 months ago

Hi Rog20 and welcome to the forum, though i am so sorry to hear about your dad. As someone else who has terminal cancer i can understand your dads behaviour, to be told you have an incurable cancer is a big shock emotionally and major surgery even if it goes well takes more out of older people and takes longer to recover, and your dads operation is not going as well as hoped so his recent experience of treatment is not a happy one and he may feel weak and uncomfortable from his condition and surgery. Regarding adjuvant chemotherapy which can cause side effects which your dad will have been told about so he is probably, like many of us will, be asking himself if any benefit from treatment is going to be worth the cost. I know you love your dad but you have to respect his wishes and he will calm down, then maybe he may reconsider treatment. take care

Eddie

Millibob 8 months ago

Hello Rog20 A warm welcome to the Online Cancer Community. I am aware this is a tough time for you and your family.

The Community is divided up into forums or "chat rooms" which are cancer specific and I would advise at this time to join the following groups where you will fin support from people on the same or similar journey as your dad:

Hereditary non-polyposis colorectal cancer (HNPCC or Lynch syndrome) forum

Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum

To join these groups, just click on the links I have provided and once the page opens up , click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page. Once you have joined that forum, you can introduce yourself by clicking on the +new and either copying and pasting your original post or re- posting the post.

It may well be a good idea to contact our support line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) as they will be able to offer that extra support you will need at this time.

I hope the above helps and wish you well - if I can do anything else for you please don't hesitate to contact me.

Best wishes - Brian.

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