Hi, I was told last Wednesday that I have adenocarcinoma, having had a lump in my neck since early November. The lump discovery coincided with an ear infection, along with covid and I was originally told it was related this and nothing to worry about. I'm now of the understanding this is likely to be a secondary cancer and will have a CT scan this week to determine the primary. They suspect lung. I was feeling physically fine until I was diagnosed, not short of breath, walking etc. I work and have a husband and an 11 year old son and I'm struggling to motivate myself to do anything around the house. I have told 2 very close friends, but I haven't told my parents or wider friend group yet as I don't want them to worry until I know the full extend of what we're facing. I have some friends who know I was waiting on test outcomes and have been asking, have social commitments that I don't feel I can cancel but want to. I'm avoiding everyone as far as I can, but my parents live just down the road and have my son after school a couple of days a week, we're close and speak most days.
I can't sleep, have massive anxiety, can't eat and feel panicky and having real lows. I range from thinking it will be okay to thinking I'm going to be dead in a few months time. I've got some sleeping pills but don't want to rely too much on these. My husband is obviously feeling devastated and is incredibly supportive, but I don't want to overload him. I haven't told my son anything yet, again want to know what we're dealing with before I have to turn his world upside down, it's breaking my heart.
I know we need to be positive and not spiral but I'm really starting to struggle and it hasn't been a week yet. Any advice on how to cope with the next few weeks of uncertainty would be massively appreciated.
Hi white_eagle and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms).
Once you have a clear diagnosis you can have a look through THIS LIST where you will find all our many dedicated cancer support groups listed.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from members who are navigating the same journey.
Have a look through the list I have given you above and once you find the group for your cancer type you can join the group by selecting “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
