Brother and sister with bowel cancer

Hi G99 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your brother and sisters diagnosis. 

A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)

The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your brother, sister and yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

Hello, welcome. I'm sure one of the fine folks here will post soon to direct you to chats that will help. This forum is like a waiting area, you'll be directed to more specific forums. Or in the meantime keep reading other posts and you'll see useful links.

There is one for example for folks that are supporting loved ones that have cancer. 

This is a really supportive community for both folks with cancer or going through support of people with cancer.

We are here for you.

Case in point, Highlander responded before I could finish typing. 

Talking helps. I find talking to strangers on here easer than talking to friends or family but that's me.

Thank you for replying are you able to direct me to any specific help for helping my 18 year old nephew?

Thank you this is what I'm hoping by talking here anonymously it will help.  

Hey G99. I'm pretty new here myself. I was diagnosed with bladder cancer recently and have to have my bladder and prostate removed. With my other health conditions this is going to be a risky procedure. I'm prone to anxiety over the smallest thing. In addition I'm not normally one to talk about things. I hold in my feelings and emotions.

I have to say these forums have been GREAT. 

I don't have to talk about my diagnosis, treatments etc. I can just say how I feel today. I guarantee you and me are not the only ones to have gone through whatever it is. And everyone here will have some understanding and empathy for it.

This place has helped me in a big way and I really hope you find the support and help you need from all of us.

Sorry to hear what you are dealing with and I get why you want to steer away from talking about the medical stuff.  My brother is the same he doesn't want to know everything in detail and now has a stoma. 

I feel it is all so unfair and can't believe how this can happen to 2 of my siblings within weeks of each other.

Do join and post in the support groups I have highlighted and also check out the face to face groups as there will be others who have had experience supporting teens as well as face to face groups for families.

You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.

I've always been that way. I'm just squeemish (spelling?) about anything medical.

Your post struck a cord with me tonight as I've been talking to my mum for several hours after getting out of hospital today.

I remarked that I feel that cancer is worse for those around me, more so than it is for me. My dad had several cancers, beat one, beat another, finally got him and my mum is terrified of losing me too. 

There is nothing fair about it. 

I can only speak for myself but I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't do anything, so let the cards fall where they may. If you knew me you would know how unlike me that is. Reading some posts on here and talking to my mum about my dads attitude it doesn't seem like a totally uncommon response.

BUT... I don't know, does this make it harder for loved ones like yourself? I kinda feel like my loved ones are trying to support me, but all I worry about is how do I support them. Does that make sense?

Not sure what point I'm trying to make here G99. Just letting my thoughts flow out. Maybe I'm just trying to encourage you to do the same. Let it all out. A problem shared and all that ;-)

Yes you do make sense it is difficult and I personally feel guilty that I am well.  I cannot begin to understand how they feel. 

My sister has a son who is 18 and I try to be strong for him as I know he will need my support. 

I keep saying it is like being in an unbelievable soap opera as it really cannot be real and this is not really happening.