Husbands (41yo) diagnosed bladder cancer

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Hello, I am new here and don’t really know where to put my question. Here is my story - Last year on October my husband (41yo) has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. His diagnose has been very unique for his age, he got the tumor located outside of bladder in diverticulum. He went through the partial cystectomy, hoping that it will be enough thanks to the diverticulum, even though tumour was micro affecting fat around the diverticulum   docs managed to “take it all out”, unfortunately results of biopsy came back as partial low, partial high risk tumour and also Tis.

So now we are standing in front of decision - chemo + radical cystectomy or chemo + radiotherapy. 
My first question is if there is someone who went through similar diagnosis?

my second question is - how normal can life be after radical cystectomy with neobladder? We are one year after wedding, very active, I am 34yo, very scared how we will be able to handle all this. 
Sorry for long text and thank you all!

Eli

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. 

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)

    The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Bladder cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Thank you for your advice! I will follow the steps you mentioned!