Hello!!!

Hi Lonely and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.

The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

Thank you. 

Hello,  I can relate to everything you've said. I cared for my dad when he had terminal pancreatic cancer. I too remember being exhausted both physically and emotionally during that time. Sometimes when he was feeling positive I felt a little angry and wondered if he realised the enormity of the situation. I then felt guilty for feeling angry with him, when I didn't know how long I had with him.

The pressure of trying to be positive can be huge, so please do what you need to look after yourself ️

Thank you for sharing this. I feel that having a terminal prognosis is both a blessing and a curse. Its a gift to have the time to say and do what you want to but also it feels like a ticking time bomb wondering when our time will be up. Such a surreal and strange situation to be in and I'm not a fan! X

Hiya, 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can totally relate as my mum has just been given a prognosis of months to live and I am doing some of her care. 

I too feel like I'm running on empty (physically and emotionally). It's hard get your strength back when there is so much going on.

I find it particularly hard when you're trying to be strong for the family too. 

You're not going mad... I'm feeling exactly the same.

Sending you so much strength and hugs x

l know   how   you   are   feeling   as    my   husband   was  diagnosed   with    pancreatic   cancer    which   there   was   nothing   could   be  done   so your   feelings   are  normal .I   also   try   and   stay   strong   for  my  husband    .The   advice    i   was   given   was   just   try   and  take   one  day    at    a time.Hope   this   helps

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Taking one day at a time is definitely a help for me too. Otherwise it can feel so overwhelming.

Look after yourself x

Thank you for sharing. Yes, family's emotions are hard to deal with too. I sometimes don't want them to visit so that we can just have a settled reset day that isn't emotionally exhausting and draining. But,vi also know that I can't keep my husband to myself and he has every right to see whoever he wishes to. It's certainly a balancing act.

xx

Hello. Thank you and I'm so sorry that you are going through similar. I have stopped thinking too far ahead as it just upsets me and makes things worse. I am learning to get through the bad days and find joy in the better days. What an emotional roller coaster we are on. Take care and lots of love. Xx

Hello. I am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation, I totally emphasise with you.

It is amazing how you find the strength from somewhere even when you think the tank is empty.

Take care of yourself and lots of love. X