mum has terminal lung cancer.

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my mum 60 was diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread to her hip bone in October, things have seemed to move so fast since then she is now unable to walk unaided and is receiving palliative care, she is too unwell for chemotherapy. we are unaware of her prognosis as she doesn't want to know we completely understand this. I am not very good at talking about my feelings and I'm trying to be strong for her people always ask how I am or how I am coping and my response is always the same "I'm fine being strong for mum" but I'm not I am scared of the future I can't imagine a world without my mum here I'm worried about the affect it will have on my dad and how and what to say to my boys they know nanny is poorly but not the details. 

  • Hi  and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.

    The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hello 8m8 and welcome. I am so sorry to hear about you mum and how you are struggling, Like you i looked after my mum who had terminal lung cancer and know how difficult it is emotionally. as i had already lost my dad and just lost my job and split up with my lifelong partner it was an awful time, but i found a way through it all. Thehighlander has given some wonderful advice which i hope you take as talking to others really helped me. please take care, Eddie