Hi all, i,m new here and just want write things off a bit

2 months ago i felt a lump in my armpit think its called the axilla , i have a history of breast cancer so I was send immediately  to the breast cancer team, where they made xrays, nothing to see on those , then an ultrasound where they seen a swollen lymphenod and they toke  biopsies, a week later i got the result ...cancer...week later i have MRI and CT scans , called to the breast cancer team surgeon who told me the MRI and CT did show something in my other breast and other armpit, again biopsies where taken, 2 weeks before those results where in , cancer in my breast and armpit Tripple negative, a lot go trough your mind than both sides lymphnods removal and for sure one breast removed possible two, both arms lymph node removal kept me more going as a breast mastectomy, both sides  what's left from my immune system than and properly for sure lymphodeem as result, worked hard to get my own proper hot tub and now i need to get rid of it ....OK understand its a luxe and if we can live but without that i deal with it , but than breast cancer spreaded in  both armpits, reading about the triple negative i thought what are my changes, is it worth to go trough threathment with all misery and maby not live long. Next visit to oncology, he say we go try to cure...uhhhhh...is this possible?  we have many questions but you just not get to ask them , not even thought about get the note out my pocked. I was told they do first Chemo 8 courses 4 different meds, i was told i can get immuun teraphy with it be triple negative, oncologist explained what it was and didn't look very impressed with more regular healthy organs got attacked with this method made you think shall i or not, i must trust my oncologist, he has the knowledge i dont, chooses to do the chemo....have i made the right decision? i read things yes and some things i skip but some things do stick in mind.....what are my changes , reading this kind comes back often within 3 year and more aggressively....I have seen my mum, she tried the chemo  and the last 7 months of her life she had in misery, pain and sickness so for sure not worth it  she might have had 3 decent months if she had chosen not to  do the chemo. than suddenly you read that only 13% lives longer as 3 year....duh..... oncologists say  we try to cure, i keep that in mind, but isn't that something he say to give me some hope?  i dont know anymore, i only know now i get very stressed out with each time delays in appointments its each time something else., i had expected the threathment would start last week, now i dont even have seen  the oncology nurse  so  that's properly another 2 weeks again on top i wait , knowing my cancer is more aggressive this waiting is making me moody and anxious , it feels like i feel its grown  already, i had no spread 4 weeks ago  but what if its spreaded now in meanwhile, i didn't had a bot scan or head scan  so what if its there already , questions , feelings, we all go trough this and nothing we can do about it as waiting and hoping they are still on time

the worst of all and i didn't get an answer on that, i had an operation 13 years ago with radio therapy on the left breast, 2 years ago i had an MRI and a CT scan for a liver cyste in the Covid season, after both scans i was send the breast care 2 weeks between, because they showed both something deep in my breast, they told me there its scar tissue and cyste, the second time a week later they did drained the cyste to avoid it be seen an another scan, now the cancer sits in my scar, and make me think they have overseen it  and that's why its spread now will we ever get answers on all  our questions.