Hi everyone,
just want somewhere to vent a bit, I’m a year Ito my head & neck cancer diagnosis , 6 weeks of radiotherapy & chemo & I’m still here! WoW! It’s been really hard, I’ve still got a tracheotomy as a stage 4 tumour was strangling my windpipe, a peg also! But I know I’m lucky, still not gone completely But getting smaller!? Hopefully?!
Thing is I don’t know what to do with myself now? I’m definitely not myself as no energy at all, lack of proper food I suppose, I lost my partner also a year to the day I finished my treatment, 10th March wthis year & was his carer for nearly 10 years so honestly feel so lonely & not used to thinking about just me!?! My mum have been great coming up from London but the absolute worst thing is my best friend & younger brother Marc has literally just been diagnosed with stage 4 bladder cancer ?!!? WoW can’t believe it so obviously I don’t wanna worry my mum as Marc’s now been told nothing theycan do! I feel useless & then terrible I’m feeling sorry for myself etc! I’m in Liverpool & family south London so hard to be there with appointments eyc! Anyway hopefully I’ll find someone out there I can chat with & get some perspective again?! Feeling proper lost & can’t see straight, scared also for my brother, Skids I call him, skid Marc 
Just need to be there for him too & my poor mum!? 2of hee 3 kids within a year & I truly know I can’t worry them!
Anyone who needs to chat I’m here, hopefully have good advice from many perspectives! What I do know is as hard if not harder caring for a loved one! What to do, say?
Wish everyone best of health & luck & if you’ve read this I appreciate you letting me vent, feel better now but could do with some advice as what to do & how to try help my mum brother etc?
Love & best wishes Shelly b xXx 
Hi Shelly23 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your journey but also about your brothers diagnosis…… your family are going through a lot at the moment.
Cancer in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Head and neck cancer support group as this will connect you with people who have walked the same journey as yourself,
When it comes you your brothers journey you may want to link in with our Bladder cancer support group.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your brother you may benefit from joining and posting in our Family and Friends support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
