Dealing with a parents cancer diagnosis

Hi R_Mae and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your dad’s Bowel Cancer diagnosis. 

A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)

The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad you may benefit from joining and posting in our Family and Friends support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

Thank you so much - I have joined the new groups ️

Hi, I'm sorry to hear this but I'm glad your dad was able to have the hard bit done, it's scary especially when it's a parent I myself am going through it a 2nd time. I don't think Ive even processed it from the 1st time round, but this time I know I need to talk to people  I need to cry when I feel like it, it's hard, don't try and bottle it up, it will creep up on you. It's a very scary thing that is happening  and your feeling are valid. I myself am trying to find a local support group to talk about my feelings this time round with people who have been through the same. Hope everything works out for you and your dad xx 

Hi sorry to hear you’re going through it too - you’re doing brillantly, good on you for taking care of yourself <3 thank you for reaching out, it’s never nice to hear someone else is going through a horrible situation like this as I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but it’s also nice to hear from someone and know that support is out there, wishing you and your family all the best xx

Hello Cdavis27q63. "Maggie's Centres" are a cancer support group, you don't need an appointment just drop in and everything is free, Many people on the community including myself use them and i would recommend them to everyone. take care, Eddie

Hi R_Mae. i am really happy your dads surgery went well, as someone who has looked after family with cancer myself 3 times i know how difficult it is emotionally how it takes over your life and your thoughts, and you never seem to get a break, I was a mess after the first time i did it as i tried/had to do it alone, "and i had many years in healthcare, 5 of which were palliative care", to call upon. your feelings are perfectly normal, you are not weak or a wimp, your dad has had a cancer diagnosis and major surgery and i,m pretty sure you had some dark thoughts along the way, crying is a release from all the stress and worry you have been through so if you need to cry then do so. Your dad is right, "as usual", talking to others would really help you, especially to people who have also been what you have been through. I see Mike, Thehighlander, has given some great advice and as someone who also uses "Maggie's centre", i would recommend them 100% to everyone. please takecbare and have a happy Christmas, Eddie