My dad has been in hospital for a month now. He went in with an extremely painful right side. They thought it was kidney stones. They sent him home after finding a lump in his groin so they did a biopsy and sent him home with oramorph and said he will have to 2 weeks for the results. Q week later he had a heart attack and was rushed back into hospital on the cardiac ward. He's been there a month now and after me and mum going to see him everyday and even saying hello to his doctor no one told us anything until a family meeting on Tuesday where a heart consultant told us he had incurable skin cancer which has spread to his lymphnodes. 4 weeks of being there and no one told us a thing until yesterday. No one even told us he had, had a heart attack until today. It gets worse as they gave him an overdose of morphine yesterday and had to reverse it so he was so out of it to the extent of he fell out of his bed and hurt himself now he is on no morphine or anything. Is this normal to not be told a single thing for a month then to be told he has 6 months without pallative chemo and 18+ with. But he might not be able to have it. I'm getting phone calls from ct departs asking for my dad, letters saying he's missed his scans and they are important even though he is already in hospital. I'm so lost. There is only the 4 of us and even though everyday we ask to speak to the doctor he is always to busy. I don't know what to do. If anyone could advise us on anything or how to cope. Thanks
Hi Sammy88 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and about the challenges you are all dealing with.
I am a patient of 24 years so I will direct you to the best area of the community for you to get support from other caregivers and be able to ask your questions…… but nothing surprises me any more about our over stretched NHS…… 24 years ago when I was first diagnosed with a rare incurable blood cancer no one actually told me my diagnosis for a few years and I only found out through a clerical error.
The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community
