New diagnosis. The dreaded c is back for my partner 18 months after all clear

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  1. My partner has received the dreaded news today following recent biopsy on neck lymph node.

she was given all clear from hpv 16+ to base of tongue and tonsils just over a year ago following radiotherapy and chemotherapy and operation to remove base of tongue.

We were advised by oncology consultant that very slim chance of recurring. Yet ent consultant advises today that extremely common. Prognosis not good and we're both heartbroken as we were just starting to laugh again. This despite my partner having to adjust to a lot of changes brought about by consequences of her treatment. It all seems so unfair and is a real body blow. Any advice on places to go to receive emotional support would be greatly appreciated 

  • Tips on how to best support my partner also welcomed as we now seem to be dealing with a totally different beast
  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partners relapse diagnosis…… I know this journey rather well as I have relapsed multiple times over the past 24 years.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our Head and neck cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only support group (that zi do see ou have joined) where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thank you for your succinct and we'll thought out advice. I will follow the suggested links and information guides and am grateful for your guidance. Many thanks