How can I be strong for mum feeling like this?


My mum is living with incurable secondary brain cancer and could have just weeks to live. She was initially diagnosed 18 months ago and has been an absolute warrior with her treatment, I couldn't be prouder.

She was responding to treatment and then in a matter of a week, became increasingly unsteady on her feet until she had a fall and hit her head. This resulted in a scan and led to the diagnosis we were all dreading. The cancer had spread further.   

I'm trying so hard to be strong and support her in what could be her last weeks. But.... I'm not ready. I don't even know how I feel. I feel so many emotions yet numb.  How can I be strong for her feeling like this?

  • Hi and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.

    The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thank you for your reply, greatly appreciated!