Struggling to process

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A good friend of mine has been treated for a brain tumour for the past 4 years, but after an initial remission, the cancer returned. After exhausting all treatment options she was given 3 to 6 months (although we're now in month 7) and her condition has deteriorated to the point where she cannot see and is bed ridden.

I am good friends with her husband and converse daily, but he has expressly requested to avoid talking about it as he sees his friendships as a distraction and escape from the situation, which I completely understand and respect.

When I try to talk to my partner she gets easily upset and I often end up consoling her when we discuss the situation, and I have also occasionally tried speaking to my other friends, but end up feeling guilty about burdening them with my own sadness.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is does anyone have any suggestions on how to process an end of life situation for a loved one? The sadness comes in waves, and can sometimes feel overwhelming, but it also feels like we're grieving before the person has passed and this feels very confusing.

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I'm sorry to read that your friend has incurable cancer and it sounds like a very difficult situation for you.

    The online community is divided into different support forums, so I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer forum which is for anyone who knows someone with a terminal diagnosis to discuss their emotions as well as practical issues about palliative care and end of life.

    To join just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    Sending virtual ((hugs))

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"