Worried for my sister in law

Hi - I am new to the group , I was told 2 weeks ago that my beautiful sister in law has been diagnosed with cancer - details were scarce so I made the 6 hour car journey last Saturday to visit her . was so shocked - the once beautiful and charismatic woman that I love so deeply looked like a shadow of her former self , I was not expecting this - at 55 years old it started in May this year with small lump in her groin , tests confirmed it was cancer and from what I understand ( I don’t want to press too much for information ) it is a lymphatic secondary cancer . I was asked by her to put dressing on her tumour which is large and angry looking in her groin and spreads across her Punic bone - it has a small hole in it and it was bleeding , why is this ???? She is facing her 4th chemotrapy treatment next Monday and my goodness it has ravaged her whole being - she is weak , nauseous not eating , hands and feet are hurting her and her terrible side effects are endless- I felt helpls for her  how can I help her ? She is stage 4 - am I going to lose her ? I am sorry I don’t know where to go for advice , she doesn’t really have much family and certainly no one to really fight her corner ( I will all day long ) I am 6 hours away though so feel even more helpless - any advice etc is welcome and appreciated x 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your sister in law’s diagnosis. 

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) bit I see that you have joined and posted in our Lymph nodes, secondary cancer support group.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your sister in law you may benefit from joining and posting in our Family and Friends support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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