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Just approaching first anniversary of my lovely man’s passing . So very painful. Can’t do Xmas ! But feel selfish ! So shocked at how deep the pain is . Thought I’d been doing well …just so sad ! Hope everyone is coping at this time of the year . When folk say ‘how are you’ my default answer is ‘fine how are you’ So difficult to say that it’s difficult. But feel I have to get on with life and show my kids I am ok. Otherwise they’ll worry and I can’t do that to them.