Diagnosed with breast cancer

I feel for you.  I was diagnosed early August stage 3 and like yourself I am none receptor - so for those not in the know, that means no Hormonotherapy.  

Had I been diagnosed with this some years ago, when my  children were young and my hormone was so imbalanced it was unbelievable, I think I would have felt the same as yourself.  Instead I spent my last six weeks preparing for a spell of inaction, morbidity and time alone - I live alone in France, all my family are in the UK.  My preparation was in making sure I had everything I needed - by that I don't mean food, toiletries etc, although important not to have to worry about those, since I have noone to do my shopping, but things to interest me - books, history, genealogy, gardening, drying herbs, DIY - and for the latter I make sure it is only a job a day if I feel I can manage it.  I find it it very much about learning what your body can take.  I am quite political, especially on media outlets, but that can make you morose, so I turn to comedy and joke platforms.

A little trick for your scans that might work, worked for me anyway.  I enjoy travel and my jaunts this year were to have been italy and Spain taking in all the archeological sites and historic places of interest.  Prior to a scan I look up all the places I wanted to visit and as I lie inert in the scan I make that invisible journey - that I know I will make when all this is over.  So pick something that interests you and go through it stage by stage - it helps stop the excessive worry/fright.

Until now I have been a little disjointed - like its not really happening to me.  I have always been an active person.  But now I have to be serious as my eldest daughter prepares to travel across for my second Chemo next week - she will return two more times before Christmas and whilst the treatment here is second to none, I have to reasonably think - could I transfer across for treatment, where would I stay, would it be easy. 

Hi Mumofthree and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your diagnoses.

Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who have walked the ‘exact same' cancer type journey can help a lot. (I have a completely different cancer).

The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Breast Cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.

To connect in with the group click on this link> Breast cancer then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

When you are ready you can introduce yourself by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

Hi Anji and a warm welcome to you as well.

Do consider joining and conveying in with our Breast Cancer group using this link> Breast cancer.

As you see from my post to Mumofthree there is lots of support information available to help you through your journey

Do get back to me if you need further help,

Thanks Anji. Love the thought of visualising your travels in the mri scanner. I did start meditating using the balance app some time ago. So I have used that in the night time to varying degrees of success. 

I have been using mainly the head in the sand method and refusing to talk about it, mainly because I don’t like to get upset and cry. Especially as I have 3 girls all teenagers who would pick up on that immediately and I don’t want to worry them. I know I may have to tell them at some point but I’m hoping that once that day comes it will be with a plan of what will happen and how I will get better. Today I don’t have that and it feels awful. 

my coping method is no longer working and I am thinking about it constantly. Im struggling to keep it together. 2 more days until that appointment and  I’m dreading it and can’t wait in equal measures. 

Thanks for the tips I have been working full time so far which is also a strain and blessed distraction and I have no idea how much time I’ll need to take off. But I will have a think about how I will fill my time during treatment if I am off work. 

thanks for replying anji, I appreciate it. X

Hi I laughed when I read your 'head in the sand method'...... love it.

I feel for you having three teenage girls and maybe you should share it with them..... our children are more resilient than we give them credit.  My Daughter in law had to have a double mastectomy and ovaries removed about five years ago and my granddaughter was about five at the time.  I believe my DIL talked her through everything very carefully.  And of course, talking allows them to know why you might be weepy, why you might not be coping as normal and hopefully they will step up and help even more.  

I can't imagine what it would be like as mine are all in their 40s, but I found out just two days before they arrived at mine for a holiday in August.  It is difficult for them living in the UK, with me in France.  But I do remember going through extremely stressful times when they were younger and so wished I had explained things better.  And I remember trying to work full time, whilst ill, bringing up a family.....none of it works and we take longer to recuperate.  But I can understand also, work does take your mind off the problems.

You take care x

I think you’re right on telling the girls but I’ll wait until Thursday is over to see what the plan is. 

you are an inspiration doing it all alone in France. I hope you have friends around who can visit and distract you.

you take care anji. X

I read your blog.... you truly are an inspiration. 

We all do what needs to be done to navigate our cancer journeys and come out the other end with what we see is a win….. and if the post treatment journey had bumps in the road we climb them and get back on track ((hugs))