Hello everybody,
I am sorry to be here but at the same time, happy to find online support.
A couple of weeks ago, my partner was diagnosed with a tumour in his duodenum and the head of his pancreas. Prior to that, he had been vomiting violently for a couple of weeks. Initially, he was diagnosed with a hiatus hernia but after treatment, he was no better. An endoscopy showed nothing because the blockage was too far for the camera to reach but a CT scan showed up the ugly cause.
We still don't know the full details - they haven't yet processed the biopsies completely but we were told that it's inoperable. I can't digest this information properly and don't really want to because I have to keep up a positive attitude. Meanwhile, my partner is losing weight because he has no appetite and is scared about being sick (vomiting) following the bypass op. that was performed as a measure to allow him to eat
We probably won't find out anything until the 25th of this month when he has an appointment with the gastro surgeon, but has not been referred to oncology at all; neither have we been out in contact with any support services outside the hospital - I'm trying to find someone who can help us BUT that's difficult because I'm also ill. I'm in the midst of a multiple sclerosis relapse.
Why is it so hard to find anyone who can offer us practical help?
Hi @ and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) a d zu can see that you have already joined our dedicated Duodenal cancer forum support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community
