Hi, I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in March and currently having chemo. I've just been through my 4th shot and now after having bloods taken I've been told I have to delay my next chemo (again). Due to my platelets in my blood being very low.
I'm not sure what all this means, I'm so scared that delaying again may give the tumor to grow or spread.
I'm at my wits end at the moment. Arguing constantly with my husband, I have no Interest in seeing friends or going out, I feel so lonely and feel that no one actually understands.
I feel totally useless and a burden to everyone.
I've not had any counselling even though I've asked for it.
I just don't know where to turn to. 
Hi Woof and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your diagnoses and ongoing challenges.
Treatment being delayed due to low blood counts is normal as chemo not only attacks our cancer cells but also our good cells so the more treatment you have the longer your body takes to recover.including our blood counts. This happened to me a few times but made no difference to the outcomes in the end.
Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who have walked the ‘exact same' cancer type journey can help a lot.
The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
To connect in with the group click on this link> Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
When you are ready you can introduce yourself by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
As for the counselling I would give the organisation another call to see what is happening. The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.
The cancer journey is hard and I can understand how you can feel a burden to everyone, but you are not a burden, walking the cancer journey is challenging and I am sure that your family and friends don’t see you as a burden…… the important thing to keep in your mind is that this is all about the greater good, keep pushing into the storm and you will get there. I have been on my cancer journey for over 24 years now so can recognise where you are at but things will turn the corner.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
