Hi there,
I have recently joined this group in an effort to get some advice and ideas with how I can best support my mum. My mum is 75 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer just over 2 years ago. She had breast cancer in her early forties and after surgery and treatment, was given the all clear. Sadly it came back in her lymph node and has metastasized in her lung and spine. She is an incredibly strong person, but lately has been struggling massively emotionally and physically. I desperately want to support her in the best way I can so she has some quality of life, but she is largely in denial about it all and whilst I think she wants to try things to help her, her heart isn't really in it so she just tries to 'soldier on' in the hope it will all go away!
My sister is a great support to her from a medical perspective as she is an ITU nurse, which has been hugely helpful when trying to understand mum's symptoms, all the different tests, scans and medications she has to navigate and general medical terms, but the need for emotional support is becoming more and more apparent. That's where I think I can come in and help, but I'm not really sure where to start, especially given my mum's stoicisml! I'm hoping I can get some ideas from this community and help her feel more supported and give her some control back over her life. I think is the part she is really struggling with!
I'd love to hear from anyone who may be able to point me in some direction, Thank you! x
Hi Sunrays and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and the journey you are all on.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only (I can see you have already joined this group) and our Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
