Hello All
My husband had it confirmed yesterday that he has prostate cancer after waiting a couple of weeks for results of his biopsy. He is relatively young to have been diagnosed I understand (he is 49) and our options are surgery or hormone therapy and radio (sorry still getting used to all the correct terms).
We have two children one 16 and the other 13 who we haven't told yet as we wanted to have confirmation before worrying them perhaps unnecessarily. They know something is going on especially the older one who received her GCSE results yesterday (she did brilliantly) but my husband and I had to disappear off for the remainder of the morning to get his results and then the follow on discussions with consultants/nurses and generally just sitting and it sinking in etc meant we didn't get back to them until late morning. We kept up a celebratory front yesterday as we both felt we didn't want her to remember her results day as the day she found out her dad had cancer.
However I know we need to tell them and we have agreed we should do it this evening before they found out by accident. I just wondered how anyone else went about telling their children and if you know of any supportive groups etc aimed at teenagers who's parents are going through cancer treatment?
Thanks for reading this far. I'm afraid this is all still sinking in at the moment but appreciate any advice given.
Hi Glitterstrand and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.
I was slightly older when I was first diagnosed (24 years ago) with my incurable blood cancer and our two girls were much the same age as your children. I have to say that kids….. especially now are very resilient, far more knowledgeable and tend to not have the cancer hang-ups due to the horrible experiences people should have years ago. You know your kids best so you best how they will most likely react.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
As for the actual cancer journey, getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and I do see that you have already joined our dedicated Prostate cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
It will be an emotional time supporting your husband and family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions……. you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
To connect in with the groups click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens you can put up your own post by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support from all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
