My elderly dad has terminal lymph node cancer and is in palliative care at home, mum me and my 2 siblings are caring for dad,as well as carers and a palliative care Macmillan nurse, Macmillan nurse
nd Hospital nurses who do 1 per day toilet break are amazing so professional,My problem lies with dads carers ,morning and night ones are too rough,One slapped my dads hand the other day, mum was present and said to not do that hes very frail,the carers dad has are obviously not fully trained in palliative care,Dad soiled his quilt the carer asked my mum if she can keep it as needed one theres many wee incidents like this, since dad was bedridden i feel his carers are not being gentle enough,one even said yesterday dad will be better soon
hes at end of life process he isn’t getting better ,we are learning daily too and we don’t feel comfortable with his careers anymore theres no trust , i think it’s frustrating my mum to the max, the carers are very hard to understand,Some broken English, the care manager has a language barrier too,Im not sure who I contact to raise a concern and any advice is appreciated 
Hi Gillian73 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and the challenges you are having.
A cancer diagnosis and prognosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
