My mum was told she has stage 4 cervical cancer 3 weeks ago and has spots on her lungs too, I am absolutely devastated. She's been poorly since mid May and kept getting told to try different antibiotics for a suspected water infection from her gp surgery, I knew there was more to it as my mum went from a happy always on the go woman to being floored and could only lay down due to the pain. Finally after some fights we managed to get her admitted and we were told originally it was a cyst on her kidney but the following day after a ct scan and biopsy she actually has stage 4 cancer..its been so much to take in. The waiting is making it so hard, so that was 3 weeks ago and today we finally have an appt for the oncology consultant to call my mum in another two weeks time. Its likely she will have chemotherapy every 1 in 3 the macmillan nurse has said and a total of 6 cycles.
Last week she had to have a nephrostomy bag/tube put into her kidney as her tumour is blocking the tube from her right kidney to her bladder.
She's currently taking tramodol for her pain but she has no energy, it's like she can't make the most of her life and I'm so worried about her, she's lost so much weight and muscle mass and I've never ever seen her this way, it breaks my heart. I see her 4 times a day and cook her meals, it's hard work at the moment as it's the summer holidays and my two children come with me which is fine but she can be agitated some days. I am 35 and I feel like I've gone back to being a clingy baby where actually all I want to do is be with my mum 24/7..that's the only way I can describe it. I feel guilty that this summer holidays isn't the greatest for my children too. I've already lost my dad 8 years ago and I am so scared of loosing my mum. I know it's my mum going through all of this but I just needed to get it all out really.
The waiting is the hardest, two/three weeks waiting feels like a lifetime to cancer patients and their loved ones
Hi Squirrel87 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you consider joining and posting in our dedicated Cervical cancer and Lung, secondary cancer support groups. These groups are safes place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
To connect in with the groups click on the “Bold Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
When you are ready you can put up your own post by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Pleasure to help out, all the very best to your mum.... and the family ((hugs))
