I was diagnosed with large bcell non hodgkins lymphoma in Dec 2021 I completed my chemotherapy in May 2022 and was given the all clear in july 2022.
I am so grateful for
the treatment I received and am so happy to have been given a 2nd chance at life .
It's just that I am struggling with the fear of the cancer returning and how to get on with my life after being told that I could died from this cancer if not treated right away .
I feel like I am a shadow walking through each day telling my family that I am fine and acting like I am so they don't worry I put them through enough with getting cancer .
I just want to feel like me and not the one who had cancer .
Am I being selfish and should j just get a grip and be thankful for getting a 2nd chance.
Thank you drama and dance .
Hi Dramaanddance and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your Lymphoma diagnosis and journey.
I am Mike and I help out around our Lymphoma groups. I was diagnosed way back in 1999 at 43 with a rare, incurable but treatable type of Low Grade Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma eventually reaching Stage 4a in late 2013 so although my Lymphoma ‘type’ may be different I do appreciate the challenges of this journey rather well.
The Lymphoma treatment journey is rather unique so can I suggest you join our dedicated Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma support group.
This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
To join a group first click on the “Bold Link” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
I will keep an eye open for you but if you are not sure what type you have pleased do get back to me on this post and I will help you out further.
I feel like I am a shadow walking through each day telling my family that I am fine and acting like I am so they don't worry I put them through enough with getting cancer .
Hi. I haven't suffered from the same cancer but another. I understand exactly how you feel. There is an essay written by a psychologist (now retired) who was involved in cancer care at Leeds. It's well worth reading as it resonates with so many of us who have had cancer. I printed out a few copies and distributed them around After The Treatment Finishes, Then What?
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
Hi again Dramaanddance you will certainly find the paper that my friend Beesuit has posted helpful.
I know a good number of folks who I have supported post their Lymphoma treatment who have indeed left a copy of the paper laying around the house as it is a great tool to develop understanding...... also a good number have handed a copy to their Employers/HR departments as this has helped them and their employers navigate people back into working life.
I see you have joined the Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma support group, please use it at any time as there are folks with the same lived experience there to help out.
You may want to check out the Lymphoma Action website. Lymphoma Action is the only UK Lymphoma Specific Charity who have lots of good reliable information, videos..... basically all things Lymphoma....... pre, during and post treatment.
They run regular Support Platforms both for patients..... I highly recommend these groups as there is nothing better than talking with other who have walked the journey.
They also run the very good Lymphoma Focused Live your Life Course that is a peer-led self-management course.
They also have a great Lymphoma Action Buddy Service where people can be linked up with someone who has walked the same treatment journey.
They also have a Lymphoma helpline on 0808 808 5555 where you can talk with someone and get support - open every week day from 10 till 3.
There is no need for you to feel alone in the post treatment journey ((hugs))
