Hello, I am Merrinbarnard.
I am living with a man who has liver and bowel cancer. He is not my partner as such but we share a house and planned to sail into our old age together as we are very old friends. He has been ill since January although actually long before that but he would not go to the doctor. He is now on palliative care only as tumours are inoperable. He had a stoma about 6 weeks ago. I am very much on my own caring for him, although I do have supportive friends and family. But Simon has few friends, a family that is compassionate but live a distance away and is leaving everything to me He has had tremendous difficulty accepting this diagnosis. We have had a visit from the hospice team who were lovely. He is not in pain but very uncomfortable and a little weaker every day
I feel I have no idea what to expect or how I am going to deal with it. Although retired I still teach in Home Ed and private tuition. I am exhausted mentally and physically at the moment. Watching this unfold for Simon is so hard and in the last few days I keep bursting into tears whenever I get time on my own...I think it is just exhaustion too but this is not me at all .
We rent together so I will be losing my home too and at 71 that is daunting. But my main concern is how to support and see this through with Simon until the end as there is no one else. I dont know what to expect and don't know who to talk to really.
Hi Merrinbarnard and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your friends diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To join a group first click on the “Bold Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat where you will find one of team there to help you out. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
