Hi my 82 year old Mom was given the diagnosis of aggressive pancreatic cancer on the 6th Feb. Her decline has been rapid and we have cared for her at home with my 84 year old Dad doing the lions share. I came over every day after work and all day of the weekends. I moved in last Wednesday in a bid to take some of the load.
Mom wants to go now and told my Dad and myself it's time to let her go - I don't want to but can accept that she is too tired to fight it any more. My niece is coming back from uni tomorrow and I believe the decline will be rapid after she has seen my Mom. The problem.is that my Dad is unable to accept this and tells my Mom so.
My question is what can I say to help him accept its now time to let her go?
Thanks if you have got this far.
Hi Julesh and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may benefit from joining our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To join a group first click on the “Bold Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat where you will find one of team there to help you out. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
Hi Julesh and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your mom has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it's natural to want to know how best to support her and your dad.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who may have been in a similar position and who can tell you what they did to help their dad accept that their mom is ready to leave.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.
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