We were on an extended 3 month break in Spain as our current jobs had finished before taking up new jobs in May when my beautiful wife began with a very painful bad back. This got progressively worse and, after multiple trips to the Spanish doctors and hospitals, she had an MRI which they said revealed two prolapsed discs. We were hugely relieved when they said it was definitely nothing to worry about and certainly was not a tumour.. Given that the pain was so bad we flew home late on Friday and presented at A&E the next day (last Saturday). We stayed at our son’s overnight so went to the local hospital to him.
Following a very thorough examination, x-ray and MRI we were told that my wife has a secondary tumour on her spine with lung cancer as the primary.
Today she had a CT scan that confirmed this (which also showed a very small lesion on her liver and adrenal gland).
We are yet to see an oncologist but the spinal surgeon is going to operate, this week hopefully, to restore the damaged vertebrae and get her mobile again, whilst taking a sample of the tumour for biopsy. He says that tumour will be treated with radiation.
She will then have a PET scan to work out where the other lesions are active. This, they think, will be treated with chemotherapy.
We are in utter shock and disbelief.
To cap it all before going to Spain we left our house and put all our belongings in storage before moving in to a new house which will happen in a week or so. We are stateless. We are in a city that is not our home.
I just don’t know what to do as I love my wife so much. She is my all. I can’t imagine life without her. I’m crying all the time when I’m not with her as I want to be strong for her.
She is scared.
I am scared.
Any help or advice would be so appreciated, thank you.
Hi Leepster and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis. This is truly a rollercoaster for you both as a diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but reaching out to the community will give you the opportunity to ask questions and getting support from others who are on the ‘exact’ same journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you consider joining our supportive Lung Cancer and Lung, secondary cancer support groups.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
To join a group first click on the “Bold Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat where you will find one of team there to help you out.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
This is a hard time Lee but from my 23+ years journey with an incurable Lymphoma and Asbestosis there is always hope.
All the very best.
