Hi. I decided to join a dating app before my results two weeks ago. I was in an optimistic place, expecting to be told that the cancer had been destroyed & the whole bloody nightmare was over, & keen to box on with my life.
Anyway, it turns iut it hasnt completly gone. But it hasnt grown or spread either which is great news. It has responded to the chemo & radiotherapy and halved in size, so thats good progress, but still in limbo mentally…
Meanwhile of course Ive been communicating with a man I like, & meeting him tomorrow for lunch.
My dilemma if I like him, is do I tell him about the dreaded Big C, or not. Is it ethically ok to keep it quiet, its not as if its contagious after all, plus its very petsonal ( & heavy traumatic story) to bring to the table!!
On the other hand, its not to be ashamed of, its one of those things … & Id rather be open & honest from the start about my story if its going to be meaningful in any way…
on the other hand, he’ll no doubt run a mile in horror, & Im enjoying the banter with him..
I’m confused, just font know what to do
Hi SGE and a warm welcome to this corner of the Community although I am always sorry to see folks joining us. I am Mike and I help out around our various Blood Cancer groups.
This is obviously has to be your own decision. The big C as you call it touches everyone in some way so saying you have a blood cancer may not be that a big deal but who knows…. But based on my 23 years living with my incurable blood cancer honesty has always been my go to position in every situation of life.
I have been supporting folks on their blood cancer journeys for a good few years and I have talked with people from 18 to 82 who have asked the same question and again they all approached it in their own way.
Just a few weeks back I was talking with a 82 year old gentleman on another support platform who was having his first date after meeting ‘this girl’ on a dating app and his blood cancer was part of the conversation and they have been meeting up ever since.
We have a good number of blood cancer support groups, if you tell me your type of blood cancer I can direct you to the best group for you to get support.
All the best with your first date and let’s look for your blood cancer not to be a hurdle.
Sorry for that, my mind automatically read your heading as blood cancer…. the words are ingrained in my life so that’s how my brain works at times.
Pleased to hear that your date went well and your further conversations went ok.
You may be interested in our Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer as it’s a safe place to talk with others who are navigating the same challenges.
