My mum passed away on Wednesday, she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in October 2019 and came to live with me, my husband and my Daughter (now 13) straight away. Her latest scan in January (got results middle of Feb) showed the cancer had spread slightly and she had a small amount of fluid in her stomach but the consultant wanted to leave her on current treatment for another 4 weeks and scan again. On the 2nd March her skin and eyes started looked to look yellow and her stomach swelled so I took her A&E (rang consultant first to be told by secretary he was away and she didn’t know what to suggest) she was admitted and then passed away on the 15th which from what I believe was organ failure due the cancer.
I am absolutely heartbroken and can’t bare to go into her bedroom. I thought yesterday mother days would be horrendous but I didn’t cry once, I have cried all previous days but yesterday nothing. I am now racked with guilt that I wasn’t upset, I feel like my mum is looking down on me thinking I don’t care. I know I am nowhere over my mums passing and will most likely burst into tears again very soon but I feel guilty when I’m not crying. Is this normal?
Hi KeepingTheFaith and I am so sorry to read about your mum, my sincere condolences. I do appreciate the journey you are on as I lost my mum a few years back and nothing prepares you for this.
Take each day as it comes, cry when you need to cry but at times you won't. Don't feel guilty, there is no correct way to deal with this and one thing for sure, your mum will be looking down and seeing here beautiful loving daughter.
I do see that you have put up a post in our Bereaved family and friends group, this will be a safe place to talk with others who have navigated this journey before.
The Macmillan Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat. This is a safe place to just chat and get support from a member of our team.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help ((hugs))
