New to the group, feeling very alone

Sagittarius2012 over 2 years ago

3 replies
23 subscribers
261 views

Hello I hope everyone is well,

I am not sure where to start with this but last week I found out that my mum has very serious cancer that has spread to a lot of her organs. It is terminal. I am 21 and a few months short of finishing my degree. My mum is all I’ve had for a very long time and I really cannot believe this is happening, I love her more than anything. It’s hard not to feel alone and as if no one else understands the pain I am feeling. I have come back from university to visit her this week but I will have to go back soon, I’m terrified something will happen while I’m away and I feel guilty for leaving my other family members. My mum and the rest of my family keep telling me I must continue at university and make mum proud, but it’s hard to think of anything else. i don’t know what I expect from sharing this here, but any guidance is appreciated.

Sapph over 2 years ago

Hi Sagittarius,

Just found your comment on my post so thought it would only be right if I commented on yours. I was finishing my degree when my mum got her diagnosis, if need be go to your university about mitigating circumstances to get extensions on your assignments and dissertation, it won't be much but should be enough to give you time to finish your studies and have time to rest and find a hobby to do, distraction therapy my mum calls it. I have found YouTube is very useful for that.

I really understand how you feel, if you ever need to talk to anyone I'll be happy to give you a message. You're not alone in how you feel, and I know it's easy to think you are but you're not. Your family is only a call away, even at University. My mother and I used Skype to face call when I was in halls, maybe you could arrange something like that to video call your mother and talk to her daily?

Right now though, go and give your mother a hug and if need be, let all your tears out. Crying can be extremely helpful, especially when you're being hugged by a person you love and care about. Tell her you love her.

Speak to your student support network at university, they should have a guidance team specifically to help you during this time.

I hope this helps, you're doing amazingly for continuing your degree whilst going through this. You're a strong person and I know for a fact your mother is so so proud of you for everything.

Sagittarius2012 over 2 years ago in reply to Sapph

Hello Sapph,

thank you for replying to my post, your words and advice mean the world to me. It is very reassuring to speak to someone who understands how this all feels.
I am always here for a message as well if you need it, I agree that silly videos on YouTube help a lot. My go to has just been staring at tiktok for hours haha

latchbrook over 2 years ago

Hi Sagittarius2012 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm very sorry to read that your mum has been given a terminal prognosis and I know what a hard time this will be for the whole family.

I can see that you've already joined and posted in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group and had some lovely replies already.

Sending virtual (((hugs)))

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"