My only parent has terminal cancer and I'm struggling to cope

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So my mum was diagnosed with a currently unknown kind of Sarnovial Sarcoma in May of last year, they managed to get it out with surgery and radiotherapy but it has spread to her lungs which she's on Chemotherapy and about to start a T Cell Therapy treatment soon to treat the multiple cancer cells in her lungs (hopefully).

As her only child and only relative where we live, the rest of the family is at both ends of the country whilst we're in the middle, I'm acting as a carer whilst in the middle of a full time masters degree. As you can probably guess, we're really close and I love her so much so this diagnosis has been really hard on me. I've recently been diagnosed with depression, stress and anxiety due to it. I'm on tablets but my issue is I haven't actually really talked to anyone about it.

Mum has told me to seek help but it scares me to do so. I don't want to lose her and I'm terrified of the future as I don't know how I can live without her around me. She means so much to me and been there to support me during my worst days. I want to be strong for her but I feel like I'm far to weak because I'm finding it hard right now to keep myself going and finding it hard to look after myself.

I guess I just need some guidance and support on how I can cope with what we're going through right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Sagittarius2012 over 2 years ago

Hello Sapph,

I would like to tell you how resilient you are being for yourself and your mum. I am in a very very similar situation and I know how scary it can be. I wish I had better advice but the best thing I can suggest is taking every day as it comes (cliche I know,) and not feeling guilty for distracting yourself or even forgetting what’s going on for ten minutes or so. My thoughts are with you, stay strong x

Fran65 over 2 years ago

Hi There

Your mum sounds an incredibly strong women..I just want to echo the previous reply..just take a day at a time everyone copes differently in these situations..when I found out my mum had terminal skin cancer..I put 100 percent into researching her condition and how I could help save her..I had it in my head that we would fight this together..I really believe it kept us both going..Anxiety got the better of me at times and I'm sure my mum too..having a focus helped get me through the difficult times..our.mums are our world and we can't imagine living without them..sending you both love x

latchbrook over 2 years ago

Hi Sapph and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm very sorry to read that your mum has been given a terminal prognosis and I can completely understand why you must be finding this very hard.

The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who can give you support.

To do this just click on the link I've created which will take you to the group. After you've joined you can then start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

Sending virtual (((hugs)))

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"