My partner has recently been diagnoses with oesophageal cancer with liver secondaries. Started with a DVT which rang alarm bells and after a CT scan the secondaries in the liver were found but known not to be the primary. Since then his decline has been rapid and I just do not know who to turn to, my GP has not seen him in his current state, his radiotherapy is finished as it was palliative to help stop a bleed, he has developed DVTs in both legs now and is wasting away before my eyes with the inability to eat. I am wracking my brain to know who to go to for help. My GP does not seem to want to see him, the Macmillan nurse is run ragged as she covers a huge area and we have only seen her once, I rang 111 last night at 22.30 and here I am at 4.42am still waiting the call I was told would be in an hour. ( I have since called again and been told to go to bed but keep the phone next to me, I am already exhausted as it has all happened so fast and hard). It seems sickness is a weekday thing, little to no help at a weekend. I do not know the questions to ask, I do not know what he might need, I do not know how to cope. Probably should not be here writing this moan at this hour, but there is nobody else around to moan at. Sorry.
Hi Kwant and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis and the journey you are all on. I do hope that you have been able to move things forward since you put up your post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the ‘exact’ same journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group Text Link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Supporting someone you love on their cancer journey can be very hard so you may find it helpful to look at this information on your feelings when someone has cancer and especially this section on looking after yourself. If you're starting to struggle then it would be a good idea to have a chat with your GP.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help ((hugs))
Kwant I am so so sorry to hear how things developed, my sincere and heart felt condolences.
This is such a hard time for you but you may want to consider looking at our very supportive Bereaved spouses and partners support group as you will connect with others navigating this difficult time ((hugs))
