Am I expecting too much?

Hi Helen.In one word, No.

I was diagnosed with throat cancer over four years ago. The fear of dying a horrid death was almost instantly overcome by guilt that I was letting my family down, being a burden and perhaps it was best this thing took me as quickly as possible. This lasted a week or so but completely overwhelmed me. I pulled myself together and thought, "You know what, this is my time and whatever the outcome I have to live not wait to die." I live a simple life on my smallholding and have no grandiose bucket list plans. So I'm with you, Helen, 100%. Memories are the most important things, in the end as none of us last forever but we do leave a legacy in our children which for most of us is the best thing.

Thankyou Dani,  when your hit with something you never expected it's hard to know if your doing the right thing. Good luck and best wishes on your journey. Helen

Bless you, Helen. This community is divided into sub groups depending on the cancer. there is a brain cancer section HERE

Mike,"the Highlander" will likely be along soon with some proper and more eloquent signposting but you could look at the link I've made. Good luck and hugs

No absolutely not.  You are approaching it the right way.  When this happens the only thing that matters is YOU and you define the approach.  Family are spectators in a way, they are not the ones with the cancer and so their mental health is impacted differently.  A positive attitude really helps.   You might find how you think about it all changes after 3-6 months.  Good luck with your treatment.  

Hi Helen Helen37 my friend Dani Beesuit has given you some amazing support and do join and post in our supportive Brain tumours support group.

There is no ‘right way’ to navigate this unwanted journey but it’s important that it’s navigated ‘your way’…. in a way that you are comfortable with. 

My 4 granddaughters have all grown up with grandad having treatment and ‘being poorly’ the oldest who is only 11 expresses it rather eloquently with “it’s pants grandad”

I have been on my incurable blood cancer journey for over 23+ years so our focus has always been to live life to the full, have fun, make those memories and not let my cancer define us…… but we define how we want to live life.

I am a keen photographer but I find digital photo storage so impersonal so we have a wall in our house we’re we actually print out photos regularly and are always changing the story, it’s a living story of our lives (and the old photos are slowly filling albums - people are not doing this now)

I have a ticking time bomb but it’s mentally somewhere out in the old shed at the bottom of the garden that I don’t use much….. our focus is always on living life.

As a family we have always worked on a rule that our pity me parties only lasted one day, tomorrow we move on. It sounds rather simple but it has worked for our 44 years together and out two girls have the same in their homes.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

As always the Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.

I wish you and your family a fun time making memories.

Supportive ((hugs))