Hi. I'm new to the group. Our family have had a pretty awful start to 2023. We found out 3 weeks ago that my mum has cancer (she was in for a routine gallbladder op and they found it unexpectedly). The oncologists confirmed yesterday during her first appointment that she has stage 4 small bowel cancer which has spread to the stomach lining and other possible organs. We've been told the cancer is life limiting and she may only have 3 - 9 months life expectancy. She is entitled to try Chemo which may extend life expectancy by 4 months but we do not know at this stage whether she wants to consider this. We are all a little overwhelmed by it all and it has come completely out of the blue. She also had a stent fitted last Friday to help with her food intake and so now she also has to contentd with adjusting her diet. My sister and I are very concerned about our dad as it has hit him very hard indeed. We do not live locally (about an hour away from our parents) but of course we want to be there for them both as much as we can. It has been a whirlwind of emotions during the past couple of weeks with just so much to take in. I'm not sure where to begin with all really. Selfishly I would like to know whether it is 3 months or 9 months she may have left with us as that is a massive difference in time and time is so precious now. I understand fully that they can't pinpoint exactly how much time she may have but I'm finding that very hard. We are going to have a very difficult journey ahead. Any suggestions of where to turn for help (other than here of course) will be greatly recieved.
Hi Lakes_lover and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the ‘exact’ same journey.
The Community is actually divided into support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group Text Links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Knowing that someone you love is incurable can be very hard and you might like to take a look at this information from Macmillan on your feelings when someone has cancer and especially this section on looking after yourself. If you're starting to struggle then it would be a good idea to have a chat with your GP.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
