Hi everyone
Think I am doing this right?
I have just joined
I have had interaction with Macmillan Nurses at the hospital (who I found brilliant!) it's taken me a while to come here but glad I have.
I have had surgery for Bladder Cancer and am now recovering from that - have had lots going on in my head and things to come to terms with
My last surgery was a Radical Cystoprostatectomy with Ilea Conduit - basically, a fancy way of saying that I lost my bladder, prostate and few other bits and the ilea conduit means I now have a urostomy bag.
My diagnosis was barely a year after my wife had passed away - I actually thought I was depressed but turns out I had Cancer.
Although I feel I am now able to find that space where I can grieve properly for my wife I have to say that Cancer can take a lot from you. Not just physically but also mentally/psychologically and socially.
And so, the journey for me has been one of coming to terms with change - how I see myself and how others see me/treat me and most importantly Life without my wife.
Foremost as a widow and then as someone who has/has had Cancer.
I am sad because of what I have lost but also realise that sadness won't pay the (ever increasing) bills!
But first of all - the Urostomy bag - sits right on the waist line! so I have to either pull my bottoms up (over the bag) and look like one of those old men with their trousers round their necks or...let my bottoms hang baggy with their waistline below the bag (like one of those) ??? any advice? at the moment I rarely go out so I can mope around in tracksuit bottoms but have decided I want to take back at least some of what I feel I have lost - and also find something/someone new.
For a long time I didn't want to be alive but it turns out I am
Much love to you all
x
Hi tosteve and a warm welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your diagnoses and to hear about your wife.
The cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but you have done the right thing in reaching out to a place where you can ask questions and getting support from others who are on the ‘exact’ same cancer journey.
The Community is actually divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Bladder cancer and Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support support groups. These groups are safe places to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group Text Links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help.
