I hope it's OK to ask this question, I've been turning this over in my head for about 4 months now and I can't decide whether I'm worrying about nothing.
I'm in my mid-40's and about 10 or 11 months ago I thought I felt a lump in my right breast. It was very small and although I felt it again the next day I couldn't feel it the day after that and neither could my husband, so I wrote it off as being hormone-related and meant to keep a careful eye on it for the next few weeks.
Unfortunately immediately after this we had a series of really bad family dramas hit, one after the other, and it's taken all my strength just dealing with them and keeping going for everybody. I totally forgot about the lump as day to day life was so draining and stressful that it took over everything.
About a fortnight ago I suddenly realised none of my bras fit anymore. I've always had pretty small breasts, the only time I've been over a B cup is when I was pregnant, but now I'm a D cup. Added to which I realised 2 days ago that my right breast is bigger than my left one, not massively but definitely noticeable as my husband can see it and the side of it feels more rounded than my left breast.
The major problem is that I suffered sexual assault quite a few years ago, and the thought of going to any health care professional to have them examined is horrifying beyond belief. I suppose I do need to go but I can't imagine how I'll be able to cope with it and I'm having a constant war in my head between telling myself to get a grip and do it, and convincing myself it's probably nothing so I don't need to.
My Grandma died of cancer, although not breast cancer, and I can't face having to tell my family I have it too which I think is playing into my fear of going to the doctors at all. I've also been very unwell for about 3 years now and in 2021 I almost didn't see Christmas, so there's also a horror of needing yet more treatment and being unwell yet again. I still have a PICC line in and I have an infection at the moment, so again I keep thinking the shivers and chills I keep having are likely to be all to do with that and nothing at all to do with my breast/s.
I'd be really grateful if anyone can give me any advice on anything. I may well need a huge kick up the backside but after the last few years this just feels like something else to cope with and I don't know if I have the reserves.
Hi @nowwhat19, it sounds like you have had a huge amount going on and it's not surprising that this feels like one more issue to deal with. And your fear of having your breasts examined is totally understandable in the circumstances. If it were me, I would want to get these changes in my breasts checked out. I'd suggest asking to see a female GP and taking someone you trust with you to the appointment for support. I am sure if you explain your concerns to the GP they will be very understanding. Best wishes
