I am sole carer for my husband who has bladder cancer and several other chronic conditions including diabetes insomnia and heart disease and is very poorly and depressed and: my 92 year old mum lives alone 600 miles away and is fiercely independent yet becoming progressively immobile, depressed, frightened and aggressive and I am the only person she feels she can 'vent' to in a daily lengthy phone call: I have just had cataract surgery which has had complications and driving any distance is not advisable: two of my friends are going through traumatic times and depend on me for support: my old dog and only source of support is deaf and needs cataract surgery and a sad decision may have to be made soon. I feel emotionally and physically drained, and lack of sleep is taking it's toll. I just need someone to share with who understands who can tell me I am doing the best I can and that's ok!
Hi Su500 and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and the challenges you are facing.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support and to ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Bladder cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis and treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Carers only support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help.
